extending the banana bread branch

Banana bread. It might not do a body good but it tastes like life.

I also just at this very moment found out that it tastes really good with coffee. 20 something years of eating it and I learned that today. Why am I drinking coffee at 10:00 at night, because I got it earlier and then forgot about it.

So anyways. What exactly makes people tend to dislike me so much? :) Sure I know a lot of the answers. Just some people dislike me straight off the get go. It doesn't bother me anymore, it's more out of curiosity that I wonder. This might be opening up a can of worms but worms can be fun and useful. They aerate soil and you can use them to catch fish.

I can get along with most people and I've learned how to deal with those that I can't.

[There is always the exception to the rule. So ye who breaks the rules. What's the deal?]


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Now for some things that have been going through my head for the last few hours.

For the first giant part of my life every friend I had just was there and that's how it went. Either we grew up together or went to school together. Didn't go out much or visit friends because there were 4 of us at home. Mom took care of us and Dad went to work. I learned to make my own fun.

Now I tend to have to work quite a bit harder to make friends. Always right off the start it's a battle usually.

I have an abrasive persona yet a thoughtful and caring personality. (not my words but if the shoe fits)

My persona is made up of a mishmash of the varying array of characters that make up my family. Mom/Dad, aunts, uncles, cousins and close family friends.

The part of me that is just me. It cares about my family and friends and is fiercely loyal. Your family always eats first. That is a strong lesson that's burned into me and I respect it. Growing up my Mom would talk about her dad and that lesson. You don't piss money away on frivolous stuff if your family is hungry.

I still to this day can't make myself buy anything expensive without a good reason. Food though I can and always have, bought for me and my family/friends freely.

Another thing that is a big part of me I gained from my dad. Learn from your past. He didn't want his kids growing up with a father stumbling around drunk like his dad. So he stopped drinking pretty much until we were all at the age we could decide for ourselves. I remember the day he made that choice and it stuck with me, it always will. Willpower is a tricky thing but when you take control it can be a profound experience.

All of this and more is in my head right now. Lots of things have happened lately that have me rethinking many of my life choices.

I'm actually changing things I don't like. Change, you can fight it but sometimes it's better for everyone to embrace it.