disappear into reality

These days I find myself getting stuck in the places where real life and the virtual world collide.

Online it can be quite easy to get caught up in things that have no actual substance. You can easily be fooled into thinking something is real or has value when in fact it has no value at all. ._.

Lately I have been feeling quite detached from my own life. It just doesn’t feel like I even belong. This really isn’t anything new it’s just that I’m getting older. Time seems to be moving by at a pace that I’ve totally lost the ability to keep up with.

It’s hard to describe but it feels like I somehow got off track and now I'm floating out in a void.

Reasons… reasons… there are many. I’ve been using the internet to try and find a place to belong for quite some time. Since the end of grade school/beginning of high school to be exact.

I didn’t have a lot of close friends back then. I didn’t have much in common with anyone. I still don’t.

I remember so many times I would try to strike up a conversation and be met with a blank stare or one of those looks that just made me feel worthless. I never knew how to handle a situation like that back then. Now if someone gives me one of those looks I call them on it. Who the hell do they think they are. If they don’t get it or don’t understand then they should say so. I’ve learned that if all a person can manage in such a situation is a stupid look or blank stare then they probably aren’t worth talking to anyhow.

I have met quite a few good people on the internet in one form or another. If I vanished though I would likely just be one less piece of data to them. I kind of want to matter to someone and have that feeling that’s so hard to find.

Truth be told I have no idea what I would do in place of messing around on the internet. My social skills are incredibly lacking in most situations. I can get by… but the crowd I go with itself isn’t terribly social friendly.

I think maybe the time has come for me to walk away from the virtual world altogether. I need something real, something to hold onto. I don’t think I’m going to find that on the internet. Some people might say I need to strike a balance. The problem is most of these people have never been as deep into the abyss of the internet as I have. Withdrawn to a point where nobody even wants to try and help you anymore.

What brought this about? Another in a long line of incidents. Watching people, learning what things mean, interpreting them. I have been doing this my whole life. Hoping to understand how other people work in hopes of figuring myself out. For quite some time I would simply force myself to ignore the data I gleamed off of peoples actions. Let myself hope I was wrong. False hope is no longer an option. I’m tired of being right about these things. I’m tired of not taking action when it is due.

I’ve lost a lot this year. Time will see to it that I lose more. I need to find something… something to keep me moving on into the future.

I keep saying to myself in my head: 

“There’s always Plan B” “What’s Plan B?”  “There is no plan B.”

I"m not even sure what exactly It means …

I’m not making any changes yet. I’m going to let the universe take another kick at the ball that is my life. I don’t hold out much hope though. I think this time I probably need to make the leap.

anime girls

So I have this thing. I like the ladies that like the technology. Specifically the ones that like anime n’ such.  I don’t know very many but the ones I do know I like quite muchly. o_o

Recently started talking with a lady who is quite into Japanese type things. I’ve started to find these types of things quite interesting myself and have been spending time reading up on them. Makes me wish I had learned another language when I was young.

I started writing this mostly because my brain sort of stalled out and I’m trying to get it going again. >.>

wind… doh’s 7

So I upgraded my laptop from vista to win 7. Why? Because my laptop ran like a bag of crap with vista on it.

The upgrade took a bit of time… I started it at 10:30pm and at 2:30am it was still going. To be fair I did an upgrade instead of a clean install.

I’m writing this entry using windows live writer just to see how it goes.

I’m not a big fan of the task bar and start menu. In previous versions of windows I always just set it to the old style. Not sure how or if you can do that in this version.

the impression that i get.....

I've always sort of been aware of my ability to create bad first impressions. Any sort of impression for that matter. It's a skill honed over many a year of being just plain terrible at social situations.

Most of my long time friends/acquaintances are aware of this ability and have either accepted it or written me off as a lost cause.

I even manage to surprise myself sometimes though. Oh boy! Curse you bottle caps and black light!!! lol Couple that with references to things nobody else has ever heard of and ..... magic! I truly am out of touch with most people.

So yeah, I haven't made a post in some time... I went through quite a bit of a change thought wise recently. Went to rock bottom and then back up. Paid off my debt from college and I am working on saving money to get a place and get on with my life (whatever that means).

I'm usually not much of a decision maker. My natural type of personality is to let someone else take the lead to avoid stress. Put me in a situation where nobody else will take the lead or things are uncertain and I tend to jump in and takeover.

I think this is an oldest child response to situations. The catch is, I got a dose of it again last night and I kind of realized I like it. I'm going to skip the waiting for people to take charge part and just do it myself for awhile. I don't really have any "real" stress right now and any that I create or imagine can be handled. I think I've grown up a little. I guess it makes sense I am almost 30 . :O aaaah!

Normally after a night like last night I'd be depressed and ready to crawl into a hole, this time, I just gotta laugh. All the stress of the situation kinda just blew up in my face and I cracked up all the way home. I mean murphy's law was in full effect. I'm pretty sure there are two, maybe three more people in the world now that think I'm mental. lol :)

I then spent the majority of the night and into the early morning chatting with people and watching videos on youtube or playing bejewelled blitz. Went to sleep around 4:30am and slept till about 3 in the afternoon.

Hanging out with some normal people was a bit of a wake up call. Man am I a dork! Not that there's anything wrong with that all of you dorks out there reading this. :) lol I just plain have very little to relate to normal people with. Sort of a catch 22 I guess.

Yeah! Go me. I'm probably going to write more for awhile. Keep my thoughts out there so I can look back on them later. Plus with all the people reading this I'll likely get some good/bad feedback to help me keep going.

/o.o/ woosh!

the least interesting man in the world? not yet, but i'm getting there.

Sigh... this is way too much me.

Ahh well :p

my train of thought flew off the tracks

I haven't been writing here much.... obviously. The main reason being that I have been unable to maintain a steady train of thought for long enough to warrant trying to write. The other reason is I've mostly just come home and gone to sleep early lately.

I have been commenting on other peoples blog entries though. I feel its a nice thing to do, lets people know someone is out there. Plus, Amy for instance, is making all kinds of good entries.

Right now though I'm hopped up on coffee and have too much on my mind to sleep.

I just saw an accident on Hwy #10 near side road 20 outside of Holland Centre. I couldn't see any of the vehicles. Too many flashing lights/fire trucks to get a clear view. Two ambulances went by me on their way to Owen Sound with their lights flashing though. Hopefully nobody was hurt badly.

:/ the night is being indifferent

Can't sleep at night. Too much on my mind.

Ever wonder what the point of all of this is? I do, more and more each day.

How do people do it?

My nephew is sleeping across the hall with my sister because my other sister (his mom) got the night shift at chapmans. He just started crying. He sounds pretty miserable. Probably has this same cold that everyone else is getting.

Looked out the window into the back yard and saw a few silhouettes of animals walking around. Couldn't really tell what they were.

I went to go out and get the flashlight from the van and take a look and got to meet a dumb bat who was busy flying around the light on the front deck. I watched it for a bit, zip zip, smack crash, repeat. Probably trying to eat the bugs flying around the light I'm guessing. It didn't leave when I turned the light off anyhow.

Going to try and sleep again shortly. Can't tell if it's the cold or not but it feels like its a bit harder to breathe than it should be tonight.

the music of rain

So this entry has nothing to do with it's title. Well maybe a little.


COFFEE BEANS, BEANS THE MAGICAL FRUIT

I run on coffee now. I didn't drink it for years but now I drink it too much I think. I have a coffee meter as it runs down so does my ability to function.

Now and then I'll stop drinking it for awhile but the withdrawal knocks me down for a bit. :/


ROCK AND OR CHRISTIAN ROLL

Somehow I started listening to this Relient K band. Why? Well, mostly because it reminds me of some of the other bands like it. Also, the whole C-Rock thing reminds me of some people I grew up with.


DRIVING AROUND TOWN IN A GREEN TRUCK

Never mind just town. I've been driving everywhere. :) Got my camera with me most of the time now so I can get some neat pictures. Today I got some pics of two storm fronts smashing into each other in OS. It made for some crazy clouds and a torrential downpour but it didn't last long. I was hoping for something cool like a tornado. :/


Random Computer Repairs R' Me

Several times lately I've been called upon out of the blue to fix various peoples computer related problems. It provides social interaction so that's OK with me.

extending the banana bread branch

Banana bread. It might not do a body good but it tastes like life.

I also just at this very moment found out that it tastes really good with coffee. 20 something years of eating it and I learned that today. Why am I drinking coffee at 10:00 at night, because I got it earlier and then forgot about it.

So anyways. What exactly makes people tend to dislike me so much? :) Sure I know a lot of the answers. Just some people dislike me straight off the get go. It doesn't bother me anymore, it's more out of curiosity that I wonder. This might be opening up a can of worms but worms can be fun and useful. They aerate soil and you can use them to catch fish.

I can get along with most people and I've learned how to deal with those that I can't.

[There is always the exception to the rule. So ye who breaks the rules. What's the deal?]


=-=-=-=-=-

Now for some things that have been going through my head for the last few hours.

For the first giant part of my life every friend I had just was there and that's how it went. Either we grew up together or went to school together. Didn't go out much or visit friends because there were 4 of us at home. Mom took care of us and Dad went to work. I learned to make my own fun.

Now I tend to have to work quite a bit harder to make friends. Always right off the start it's a battle usually.

I have an abrasive persona yet a thoughtful and caring personality. (not my words but if the shoe fits)

My persona is made up of a mishmash of the varying array of characters that make up my family. Mom/Dad, aunts, uncles, cousins and close family friends.

The part of me that is just me. It cares about my family and friends and is fiercely loyal. Your family always eats first. That is a strong lesson that's burned into me and I respect it. Growing up my Mom would talk about her dad and that lesson. You don't piss money away on frivolous stuff if your family is hungry.

I still to this day can't make myself buy anything expensive without a good reason. Food though I can and always have, bought for me and my family/friends freely.

Another thing that is a big part of me I gained from my dad. Learn from your past. He didn't want his kids growing up with a father stumbling around drunk like his dad. So he stopped drinking pretty much until we were all at the age we could decide for ourselves. I remember the day he made that choice and it stuck with me, it always will. Willpower is a tricky thing but when you take control it can be a profound experience.

All of this and more is in my head right now. Lots of things have happened lately that have me rethinking many of my life choices.

I'm actually changing things I don't like. Change, you can fight it but sometimes it's better for everyone to embrace it.

grand theft produce

So I assume most people have seen trailer park boys at least once.

Today I saw the Owen Sound version of something that happens in that show quite often. I drove up to zehrs and I saw a lady with some kids and a heaping cart full of groceries ram jamming them into her vehicle. I said to myself, "Self, that's a lot of groceries and she's brutalizing them, she must be frustrated trying to fit them in that vehicle."

Then I see one of the employees walking up to her so I figure oh that's nice he's going to help her. Hmm he doesn't seem to be helping and now she's hopping in her car and taking off. Weird.

As I'm walking up to the store I hear part of what the employee was saying to another one. "I walked up to her and I was like, you didn't pay for those did you and her daughter ran into the car and started it and she just took off but I got the license plate."

Crazy. This just reminded me of the Jon-o-vision guy from trailer park boys blatantly stealing groceries. That lady just had some straight up balls to be pulling that shit. Makes you wonder how many times she's done it before.



In other news I've been trying to be less of a jerk. It's not as easy as it sounds.

the green truck with no name

So I've been enjoying driving around in my new to me truck. Good times. It's about the same on gas as my car used to be for road driving but really sucks it up if I drive around town.

People are jerks. I know I'm a people and a jerk.

My car was know widely as the carmobile. Like the batmobile only the flames didn't shoot out of it on purpose. Many a person learned how to drive and did their final road test in it. It was a well used and abused car.

Now I need to come up with a name for my truck. I'm slightly reluctant to name it though. It feels like a temporary vehicle still.

It's kind of old, temperamental, makes a lot of random noises and doesn't seem to like me that much. Maybe I'll call it Amy for awhile. :D lol burn.........!!

I started drinking coffee this year and now I drink it randomly. That's not to say I haven't bought a lot of it just I used to get other people the coffee and I'd grab an ice capp.

I only seem to ever drink tim hortons coffee. For being a giant nationwide chain you'd think they'd have at least a little consistency in the quality of their coffee.

Some of them are consistently bad though. Here's a list of a few cause I'm bored.

Thornbury: They have never mixed any of the coffee's I've got there. I don't like this one much at all.

Old west side one in OS: This place regularly just gives out wrong orders. They'll be labelled on the lids right but what's inside is a roll of the dice it seems.

Southampton: Not that bad, just usually really busy.

Durham: This place is random as heck, can be good or bad. I don't go there much anymore.

Meaford across from McDonald's: Meh, not bad. Usually a long line up.

Hanover near the one end of town: This place is always packed when I go there.

Here's a story about the Hanover one.

One time we were in a huge line up. (we had been working in town)
We get up to where there's just one car in front of us.
They pull up to the window.
A little old lady gets out.
She goes to her back door and gets her purse from the back seat.
Then she goes back and stands at the window and starts counting out her pennies.
She then walks to the back door, opens it, puts her purse back and back to the window she goes.

This is where she talked to her passenger and then repeated the getting the purse thing and penny counting (I assume she ordered something else for them).

She puts the purse back again. Gets into her car and sits there. They try to pass her order out the window but she can't reach so she gets out of the car again and proceeds to hand the things one at a time to her passenger.

The passenger starts getting agitated at this point. I figured it was for having to hold stuff... but wait ... what the ?

She then goes around the car to the passenger side back door and gets a coat out. Then she opens the passenger door. A little old man gets out, hands her the stuff he was holding. He puts the coat on and gets back in.

She tries to hand him the stuff but the door keeps swinging shut. He rolls the window down and she hands him the things through the window.

Finally she walks back around and gets in the car and proceeds to fly out into the intersection turning right with her left blinker on cutting of a car in the process.

It was something to see. I was waiting for one of those candid camera guys to pop out at any time and laugh at us or the people at the counter.

You could hardly be mad at this point because it was just too damn funny.

:)

i like the night

It's one of those beautiful nights. Cool, wet and full of noises.

It's been too weird lately to write stuff here. I don't know what's going on with my brain from one day to the next.

I haven't been tired at night for a couple weeks now. I'm more awake at night than I am during the day.

I have become a night person. :/ weird

sitting

I haven't spewed much gibberish this blogs way lately. The main contributing factor to this is that sitting is a royal pain in my back. Well not so much the sitting as the standing up after.

The slight back injury I had that healed up and had my back feeling better than ever.... well that was just a cruel joke and now it hurts to stand up from a sitting or laying down position. Like... stand up (someone stabs you in the spine) and then as you walk it's like they slowly pull the knife out and you feel better.


Zoom Zoom Zoom

So I poked the bear. Ya I did it. No I didn't do it with malice. But sometimes you just have to poke the bear whether you want to or not. It might get angry and gnaw off your hand or slash you open and your guts all spill out but sometimes feeling crappy is better than not feeling at all.

The problem with poking the bear is that bears have long memories and they will probably stop by now and then to mess up your campsite when you least expect it.

yeah, so... yeah

Anyhoo, I was going to lock this blog down and walk away but it's the internet and in the interest of personal growth I've decided not to.

I had enough of people calling me a stalker. :p I mean in jest its fine cause that's all it was. I never made an active effort aside from reading whatever popped up on facebook or the google reader thing. This isn't even directed at one person, you know who you are, so if you still read this I hold no grudge or anything. That's not how I am.

One thing I've learned in this life is it is often times quite simple just to move on. After awhile it doesn't even hurt. I'm way past that stage.

So as I've said before I'm effectively down to no friends that I ever see in real life. I'm basically back to where I was in my life up till college. I didn't care about anyone aside from my family and friends, didn't understand how people could get worked up over relationships and couldn't understand why people just didn't walk away. I would look at those sorts of situations and just laugh or feel pity.

Well then didn't I fall into the whole world. Got dragged down, loved on and kicked around. I have a knack for getting into such situations and not knowing when to call it quits. I think it's the part of me that just never wants to give up on anyone or anything. There isn't much I wouldn't do for friend or family.

It comes down to that life has a way of coming back around and I've learned that it isn't such a bad thing. I have my family and what's left of my friends. I don't see some of them often if ever but they are true.

As for keeping some thoughts to myself or with God. Well I don't have any thoughts right now that I care to keep bottled up from people and God already knows them all anyways.

I'm going with letting the truth flow right on through me and the openness that brings is amazingly liberating. :)

Peace world. :)

something totally deep and profound... or maybe just silly

It's no secret, I am weird. As such I sometimes weird people out. Plus also I'm not much to look at which really doesn't help the weirdness factor. Even when I'm in shape at best I can get a Shrek level of good looks going on. I'm not complaining, I like me. Just not many other people do, specifically females.
Which one is which? :D lol

You know how they say "When they were handing out brains he thought they said trains and said No Thanks". Well that's kind of how I view my situation. It's like when they were handing out normal I thought they said formal and said "No Thanks I hate suits, too stuffy".


And another thing....

In response to Aimers blog. I didn't watch Dawsons creek growing up. That show just plain bugged me. I developed my inner dialog and tendancy to spew out gibberish in one form or another because that's who I am. If it wasn't for this blog I'd be talking someones ear off or just thinking in my head alone. :)

As for the saying something profound each blog. Well, I'd rather just make people laugh. :)

Missing the grand picture of life though. By writing out your thoughts to share with others. I don't know about that. Sometimes people can offer a different perspective on a situation and help you get things straight. At least that's what I hope for sometimes. Then again I'm all for the silly fun.

As for the couch that smells like smelly animal. Maybe one of those nifty steam cleaner things. That or just febreeze it >.> I'm not a huge fan of febreeze though.

Just be glad it isn't full of spiders. I slept on a couch from grade 9 to grade 11 mostly and one night I woke up and there were tiny spiders all over me. Naturally this freaked me out a bit so I tried to think of somewhere else to sleep then I got lazy and sprayed bugspray on the inside part and then put the cushions back and a big ass blanket over the whole couch. Then I went back to sleep. I figured, meh, it's just spiders.

And yet another thing.... riddle me this

I'm rarely at a loss for words in real life. In fact most of the time people tell me I never shut up. This is in response to the comment response to a comment I made in response to a blog post. It really stuck in my head for some reason. Kinda bugged me. I can find something to talk about and get along with almost anyone. I felt mildy offended lol :)

Here is a link to the blog/blogger I'm talking about so people know what I just rambled about. LINK OF DOOM... and kittens!

board games o_O

Way before Pong, cavemen played primitive videogames made from cardboard and dice. - collegehumor.com headline for a video

I think that is hilarious. :)

I miss playing board games. The problem is that having small children around sort of limits your choices on games you can play. They are going to want to join in and most of the time they just can't handle the complexity. Once they get older it will be awesome but that's quite a way off.

Ever notice how I type smiley emoticons a lot. I tend to use them almost like punctuation. This is a side effect of having unlimited internet access at a young age. When most people I knew barely understood what the internet was I was cruising around on it with my 2400baud and then 14.4kbps modem.

It didn't have the vast quantities of quality information it has on it now. It wasn't as graphically intense either and common personal computer speeds were more around the 33mhz(low end) to 100mhz (top end). It did have a lot of porn back then even. >.> or so I heard. Good old interwebs.

it's like being stuck in a song

I was awake for far longer than I should have been last night.
Spent most of the day working with the weight of sleep deprivation dragging me down.

My body is in better condition then it has been in quite some time.
I am far from in shape but even farther from my previous state.

It is quite a challenge sometimes to determine whether I am acting or not acting
based on self-doubt or because it is the most prudent course.

Being observant of things can be both beneficial and damning at the same time.
Process the information, maybe you got it right? Maybe you jumped to conclusions.

I've been known to zone out completely in certain situations. Mostly at gatherings.
Stuck on a thought. The world fades away, nothing else registers. So alone in there.

What is there to fear in this life aside from being alone? That's the worst thing.
Family and friends make life worth living. Love is all that keeps me in this life.

Time can fly by so fast or it can move painfully slow. Sometimes it's as if it stops.
It never truly stops though and all you can do is learn to move with it.

Some people think I don't think very much before I do something. Looks unplanned.
I tend to think ahead about random things a lot. Leaves me well prepared sometimes.

I'm not sure what this two lines thing is about. It just happened. Things happen.
Plans are made, broken, mended and amended. Sometimes there isn't a plan.

I'm going to stop now and get some sleep. A new day is coming and I want to be ready.

rambling "on about stuff" man

Here is a comprehensive Guide to dating. Not really! But it sure is funny kind of.

I particularly like this line...

"Say if you were gonna call someone, from what number would you be calling from?"


Anyhoo.... O_O

I've been listening to the Rascal Flatts album I got quite a bit. This surprises me , seeing as before I got it I was listening non stop to Nofx albums. Keeps me thinking about the good things in life. The song Skin (Sarabeth) damn near brings a tear to my eye every time. Not many songs do that.

So a person who shall remain nameless commented on how they had way too much time to think on a drive recently.

I have this same issue only I haven't been on a long drive in awhile. The drive I've been doing to Owen Sound and back though seems to be enough though.

Spring has sprung on the road to where I'm going

With great amounts of driving comes great amounts of thinking.

- I feel good lately, physically and mentally
- Seems like I should be doing something all the time
- I'm liking working hard again
- I love the sunshine this time of year
- I'd like to meet new people and date again


The future is wide open and it's kind of scary but that's okay.

no jam like toe jam

No I don't have toe jam but it made for a good topic.

What I do have is an annoying weird out of place oddball, what I believe to be a toe fungus thing, on my one big toe. Three dots on my right foot only.

It doesn't make any sense for it to be where it is. Ah well. Tinactin it is!

So it was a nice day out. A bit of a chilly breeze up at Balmy Beach where I was working though. Was nice and sunny to make up for it.

time, time, time

Seems to be slipping by so fast. Need to grab onto something and slow down and enjoy the present a bit more.

B^) Bless the broken road

So it was and still is a nice weekend.

Today was the best of it. Ended up bbq'n hamburgers. Did some grocery shopping.

The garden was planted today too. Usually this is an annoying ordeal and takes the vast majority of a day. This time it apparently took about 30 minutes. Someone had picked up a little seed planter thing. You just till up the garden, throw the seeds in this thing and push it along where you want them.

So I bought another thing off of iTunes. This time it was Rascal Flatts - Greatest Hits Vol. 1. Nice change of pace from the music I've been listening to lately.
The songs on it either cheer me up or remind me of when I was driving around with Carm doing beekeeping. The one CD we had that got played about 2000 times had a few songs by them on it. Good times.

The title of this entry is the name of the song that I like the most off the album. It's a favorite of a friend of mine. Reminds me of the good times I had with them.

:) (:

So I might maybe probably but not for certain have a truck possibly

Might have a truck. Used sure but I dunno. My brother got it to sell to me or another guy and then he decided he wanted to tool around in it. Whatever.

On to other news!

I went into the hospital in Markdale this morning to get my eye checked. When I woke up, I went to bed really early, my eye was caked shut with goobers. So I figured it'd be a good idea to go in.

I go in. Luck out and get a nice new doctor doing a placement thing here or something. All she could find was a tiny tiny black speck in the one eye. There were no scratches or anything. I suspect the tiny black speck was a piece of metalish alloy stuff from drywall screws. It's all I can figure. That stuff is super sharp and irritating.

Once that little piece was out the irritation went away and my eye is back to normal.

The one thing I did get reminded of is how erratic my vision is. The nurse had me do one of the eye tests. The sign was so blurry. This is not unusual. I can still read the letters because I'm so used to reading blurry stuff. My eyes tend to change all day long.

I used to have a pair of glasses to help with the astigmatism I have. The thing is it happens at different times of the day. So I had to keep the glasses with me all the time and switch them on or off. The thing is without them I still have 20/20. I'm just used to having better.

O_O Anyhooo..... I had something I wanted to write up here but I got sidetracked and forgot it.

whiney? I'll show you whiney! wait, no I won't! :)

I am wiped. Completely and totally exhausted. Physically anyhow.

So ya... I whine a bit when people don't comment on my blog. :) lol Who doesn't? One person I know, I won't mention any names, even put up a survey to see if people were reading. :) hehe

I got something in my eye or a small scratch or something or maybe even a sty. It's not terribly bad though. I put some eye drops in and it seems to be less irritating now. Murphys law type thing I also managed to land a big blob of drywall mud right in my eye while I was working. Lol.... ah yeah, good stuff


So here's some data from the google analytics thing I put on my blog cause I was bored.

Browser used to view!
Firefox 130 81.76%
Safari 23 14.47%
IE 6 3.77%

I'm not 100% positive but I'm pretty sure the Safari one is just me on my iPod from various locations.

The numbers :)
10 people visited this blog since I put it up. Give or take.

Some people have script blockers installed so they don't show up. You know who you are. o.oa

Two of those people are me from different locations.


The interesting part is that there are consistently 9-11 visits every day. There was a huge spike the day of and after I did the zombie story. All the people clicking onto it from Amy's blog which has a much bigger following


Traffic referrals
google.ca (referral) 14 8.81%
blogger.com (referral) 12 7.55%
amyblog (referral) 4 2.52%
solarblog (referral) 2 1.26%
direct 127

I chose most of the options to not put my blog into search places. I figured I'd wait till I was doing cooler stuff before I would do that.

so the answer is no :p

Well so much for my fancy pictured up entry. Nobody even read it. :D

Long day, funny stories to go with it. Too tired to gibber them out. :p Back feeling much better. Time for sleep.

So. Let's see how long a blog can be. Will anyone read it though?

Time for a change. Don't know what this means for the future exactly.

Worked through the delightful pain today. Sharp jabby, any time I bend my back, pain but it wasn't too bad. Just like someone stabbing you in the spine, but only with a little knife. A little knife isn't so bad.

In the other news department. There is no new news.

Ummmm... So I'm going throw the pictures from my camera, 15minutes left on the transfer, to my PC. Ya, there are a lot of them. They go all the way back to when a friend of mine was pregnant. Her child is 2 now I believe. o.O


God Shuffled His Feet

So this song really got up in the faces of some people I knew in Manitoba. I like it. I'm listening to it right now. I'm not sure why they didn't like it. I didn't like being in Manitoba and the water made me sick all the time so I try not to think about it too much.

After seven days
He was quite tired so God said:
"Let there be a day
Just for picnics, with wine and bread"
He gathered up some people he had made
Created blankets and laid back in the shade

The people sipped their wine
And what with God there, they asked him questions
Like: do you have to eat
Or get your hair cut in heaven?
And if your eye got poked out in this life
Would it be waiting up in heaven with your wife?

God shuffled his feet and glanced around at them;
The people cleared their throats and stared right back at him

So he said:"Once there was a boy
Who woke up with blue hair
To him it was a joy
Until he ran out into the warm air
He thought of how his friends would come to see;
And would they laugh, or had he got some strange disease?

God shuffled his feet and glanced around at them;
The people cleared their throats and stared right back at him

The people sat waiting
Out on their blankets in the garden
But God said nothing
So someone asked him: "I beg your pardon:
I'm not quite clear about what you just spoke
Was that a parable, or a very subtle joke?"

God shuffled his feet and glanced around at them;
The people cleared their throats and stared right back at him


The Bee's are Coming!!!

I'm looking at some pictures of this swarm that poppped up in my friend Carmenie's backyard one day. The people in bee suits are friends of hers that were visiting and wanted to see it up close. I don't have a crazy zoom on my camera. I'm actually really close to them. I was even poking at the bees trying to find the queen.

I wanted to find her so I could stick her in a little cage with some workers and then plug the hole with some candy. Then you stick the queen in the hive and shake the bees in. Once they calm down bingo-bango you got yourself a bee hive.

On nice sunny days such as it was bee's are pretty darn amiable.

You can often pop their hive open, pull frames out and poke them even without smoke. Though it's usually still a good idea to toss on a veil at least. Nobody likes to get stung on the face.








BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!








Speaking of getting stung in the face. One time while extracting honey.




That's the exact machine I was using at the time by the way. I went into the small room where the boxes of frames waiting to be extracted were. There were only about 5 boxes left at the end of a very very long day of work. Work with Carmenie doing bee's sometime if you want to know what long hours are.

Anyways, 5 boxes left. I pick one up and I see a bunch of pissed off bees coming over the top of the box at me. I'm thinking, "ah hell, here we go". So I drop the box and start running the other way.

Well this pissed off a bunch of the hornets which were there stealing honey as well.

So here I am running like hell , trying my best to kill anything that's stinging me cause I knew there were some hornets (and they just keep stinging till they get bored or whatever). I finally get far enough away and the bees/hornets are all dead.

My head though. It feels a bit like it's on fire. My heart is beating so hard it feels like it's going to rip out of my chest. Mild problem with the breathing. Not anaphylactic shock bad. But still pretty damn bad.

So I try to tell Carmenie what happened. However, my head is on fire and she can't understand what I'm rambling about. So I hop in my car and do the 5 minute drive to my house in about 1.5 minutes. Run into the house mumble out an explanation of what happened and someone gives me the only antihistamine we have in the house. A 24hr claratin. I would have preferred something with a bit more kick.

So I'm sitting there waiting for this thing to kick in. Someone, I don't even remember who, was pulling stingers out of my face. Later on I got even more when I shaved. Suddenly Carmenie comes flying up the driveway. She finally figured out what had happened. Lol. She found the last box of honey I had picked up and it had a bunch of brood in it that the bees were protecting.

Anyhoo, that's my story of how I got stung the second worst I ever got stung. The worst stinging I ever suffered is a story I save for real life conversations. :) lol

Lessons Learned

Before I met Carmenie I spent a crazy amount of time on the internet/computer. I didn't do much else. In order to spend time with her, she worked 16hrs a day mostly, I had to get off my ass and work with her.

Thus began my about 2 years of non stop working. I would work all day. Come home, sometimes eat. Then go and work with Carmenie until midnight or later depending on what we were doing. There's always something to do with the bees.

On the weekends I'd wake up and go work with her usually until the late hours of Sunday. I loved it. It was the best thing I had done in years and years. I felt great most of the time too. Ah good times.

The thing I learned is. I like doing hard work or working hard. Also, I learned I tend to adapt to my surroundings. When the going gets tough I'm the one walking 3 steps ahead of tough asking them what's taking so long. :) lol least once I get back in shape. o_o

Now I'm gonna stop typing for a bit sitting has become painful as the pain stuff has started to wear a bit.

it only hurts when I live... lol :)

So I finally am pretty much over this stupid head cold thing. Yay for long weekend of sleeping :/ and of course something has to happen. In a half dazed state I managed to yank my back the wrong way moving a rototiller attachment on a tractor.

So yeah. Not gonna let it slow me down much. It only hurts if I move or don't move. I mean that leaves that precarious in between sitting and standing state so that's something.

Should be an interesting week coming up. Lots of things to do. By lots of things I mean work and by interesting I mean repetitive. lol :)

lost where I am

So I purchased a thing off of iTunes. Why? Because it was a 99 cent song and I wanted it that's why.

It was:
"We Threw Gasoline On the Fire and Now We Have Stumps for Arms and No Eyebrows by Nofx".

Ya... So probably nobody else knows it. I really like it though. It was one of my favorite songs in high school. I actually have it somewhere on one of my many hard drives but I got sick of searching for it.

brain slow down

So my ambition to do anything is pretty weak right now. I figure I'll try and write something.

So I was browsing through free apps on the ipod and I stumbled on epicpetwars. It's one of those online games where they try to entice you into paying real money for all sorts of things. You can play without using real money but then your progress is way slower. I'm not about to piss away money on it so I'm doing things the hard way.

I'm getting kind of tired of not fitting in anywhere....

running on empty

Today wasn't too stressful to start. This was good, because I would have probably burnt out early on if it had been.

Once things got going I found myself in need of some medication to keep my head clear enough to work. Took some sinutab dealies I had in my lunchbox. Once those kicked in I went full tilt for about 5 straight hours and then it was now.

Now I am just sitting here... so tired. Probably going to go to bed early.

The thing was the whole time I was working I was thinking about more things than I usually do.

I figure once I'm over this sinus thing I'm going to make an effort to go out and do something at least once or twice a week. Lately I haven't been doing a lot. Just work/sleep, repeat. Of course with blog/facebook etc... thrown in.

Oh and this is a line from a certain persons list. lol
I had the judges, yep, imaginary judges, go over this and they concur that it indicates any vehicle is acceptable with a truck being preferred. It does not specifically prohibit other non truckish forms of transportation. This is obviously a glaring loophole and requires the intervention of a third party interpreter. LoLx2

-has a vehicle (prefer pickup truck - send picture)

I got more stuff to type tonight but my brain needs a break.

zombie laundromat

Apparently, the laundromat can be quite the entertaining place, for zombies.

Granted, most of the time its pretty boring. Upon entering, doing an initial scan of the patrons, and realizing that the only human has tattoos up and down both arms, wears hoop earrings in both ears and one in his lip, and smells of cigarettes... Nobody wants to eat someone that tastes like cigarettes and is full of pieces of metal. It's just terribly inconvenient to get them out of your teeth. The brains probably wouldn't be a very good meal either, call it a hunch.

I usually just find the closest chair and continue reading about Mr Darcy fighting his temptations over Elizabeth while discussing the best ways to eat humans.

My reading was disrupted this evening as a delectable total non-zombie lady came rushing in and said very loudly for all to hear, 'Is that your leg that just rolled out onto the street??!!!' Clearly she had not noticed that this was a zombie establishment.... She quickly ran back out the door in a panic!

Obviously, we all jump up and look out the window to see a perfectly good meal running for all she's worth down the middle of the street. Tattoo boy lets out an embarrassed laugh and runs out the door - apparently he had leprosy, no wonder he was hanging around with zombies.

Its amazing though, how, once something dumb happens that has been witnessed by those gathered, everyone who would normally avoid eye contact at all costs suddenly start making small talk.

Speaking of small talk, a little while later, this little girl comes skipping across the parking lot with her mom. She's got a pink mp3 player in one hand and this gianormous laser cannon on her head, she can't be any older than 5, and the power cord on the laser is so long, its pretty well dragging on the ground.

She waltzes in the door, comes right over to me (like, she's pretty much leaning on the arm of my chair), and says 'Hi Zombie!'.

(oh great... happy outgoing child... with a laser cannon) "Hi, kiddo", I reply.

"Is that your book?"

(did she really just say what I think she did?) "uhh.. what?"

"Is that your book? I didn't know zombies could read"

(well, its not yours. Humans are so ignorant, just because we're zombies doesn't mean we can't read) "yeah, I brought it with me, zombies were people too you know!"

"oh, well you better not try anything fishy"

I can now hear her laser cannon warming up loud and clear. I see the trigger, which she now has in her hand. "Do you know who this is?"

(oh great, a 5 year old who knows more about laser cannons than me...) "Nope, what is it?"

"Auto-sensing power trigger"

(... where's this kid's mother, I have the feeling we're all in trouble) "ooh... cool"

"Do you know how to use a laser cannon? or, a frag grenade?"

(yay - now this child is gonna ask me to leave or she's going to blow me up, better play dumb) "well, I don't know how to use YOUR laser cannon..."

"Oh. Want me to show you?"

(you've got to be kidding me. honestly, where is this kid's mother? i'm really freaking out now) "uh... no thanks"

"see, this is where the power pack goes. And if you pull this out, the laser discharges! Plug it back into this hole and, see? The death ray 2000 is ready to go again!"

(wow, death ray 2000 >.> .... gulp) "wow..."

"Are you here by yourself? One new made loner zombie isn't too big of a problem I guess. You can live for now.

(woah - what?! I didn't see that one coming. Do I really look so Nouveaux zombie that even 5 year olds can tell?! ouch...) "uh, yep - I came alone." (oh man, now the other zombies are giving me the eye)

And off she went to dance to incinerate the rest of the zombies that had started to run to the parking lot - I guess I wasn't exciting enough for her. Oh, by the way, her mother was about 10 feet away doing laundry and didn't seem too bothered that her kid was talking to strangers. Why is the mother just doing laundry while a 5 year old incinerates zombies?

All in all, I was lucky to survive. Maybe going to the laundromat in evening when the wearwolfs come out would be a smarter move.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

So yeah... This is clearly the zombied version of one of Aimers blog entrys about going to the laundromat. Yes it is pretty terrible. It seemed like a funny idea about 2 hours ago. Then my head started hurting. This is the result. Not my best work but I made do with what I had to work with. It's not even really that funny I guess. :) lol But it will indeed prove I'm insane.

my give a damn is... currently out of order

So this head cold thing hit. Wee. Nose runny, sinus discomfort etc....

I worked in a basement again today. This one smells like dog and cat pee. After that, around 2:30, I got to go to owen sound and work mostly not in a basement, mostly.

The headache I've had all day didn't put me in the greatest of moods. I kept my cool for most of it by listening to music. I was going to use my old mp3 player so I didn't have to worry about wrecking the new one. Turns out the batteries in the old one were dead. So instead I took the little draw string bag that came with the headphones and put the ipod in it and put it in my pocket. Worked well.

It's all your state of mind... ya, seriously. Not a great state of mind last two days. Oh and that reminds me. I was listening to an Evanescence song and it had morse code at the end. Took me awhile to pick up on it at first. I figured something else was beeping. I'm pretty sure it was just SOS.

YES! It is necessary to post every thought I have in a seperate entry, stop looking at me like that!

It just got really windy out. Really, blow over stuff that shouldn't blow over, windy.

I'm mostly typing a lot tonight because it helps me to not worry a bit. Keeps my mind occupied until it's time to sleep.

I just found a big sliver in one of my fingers. It's a piece of metal-like stuff from drywall screws. It doesn't hurt and its just below the skin. I really need to find something to do besides blog all the time.

I'm going to play mario for a bit. If anyone wants me you know where to find me. If you don't well then look on facebook or msn chat or ask. I don't bite, well that's not true, I might bite if backed into a corner. I don't chew or anything though. :D lol

cold, cold, cold-fx

So I'm trying cold-fx for the first time. Hoping it'll knock this throat thing out. Also, I'm going to gargle some mouthwash stuff before I go to sleep. My sister is really pushing this cold-fx stuff. Lots of people I know swear by it. I figured, why not?

Anyhow, I'm bored. I'm sitting here writing about anything that pops into my head. I'm listening to music on my ipod while using it to check my email/facebook at the same time.

I'm eating Mr.Noodles too. 2 packs boiled up, water drained off. It's my new any time I feel like it warm snack thing >.> Probably terrible for me.

Now I'm listening to Space Hog - The Chinese Album. Probably nobody else reading this knows it. Maybe my sister. I dunno. I like it, listen to it now and then. I acquired a taste for music like it back when I was in high school. This was the pre-napster era.

Before napster showed up I would hang around in a few channels on IRC, EFnet server. One of those channels was #mp3indie. Lot's of music that nobody I know had ever heard of got traded around in that place. It's still there, some of the same smart asses still frequent it.

Another channel which helped me build up an mp3 collection back when computers could barely decode mp3s and do anything else was #mp3countryjukebox. It was set up so you could get mp3s easy with a search and get command typed into the channel.

IRC was responsible for a good majority of my computer learn'n growing up. Ah those were the days.

uber geeky mabye?

So awhile ago someone said that I needed to do something Uber-Geeky. Well maybe I have inadvertently done it.

It occurred to me just now that I now check facebook/email/blogs anywhere there is wi-fi with way too much frequency. >.>

My little safari browswer dealy has a window for each thing. Lol

If you've never used an ipod touch/iphone with the multi touch window resizing thing... damn its fancy. :) I even chatted with some people on facebook with it from Grey Motors the other day.

Does that qualify or do I need to kick it up a notch? :)

I had a good idea for a topic today, then I forgot it.

Mostly did drywall today. Boarding in a basement in Owen Sound. Right on the water Balmy Beach area. It wasn't too bad. Not terribly eventful.

At one point a bumble bee, a huge one, came flying in and was bugging the guy working with me. I thought it was a humming bird at first that's how big it was. No I'm not blind, it was just pretty far away. It kept trying to land on his hat, the only brightly colored thing in the basement. I think he eventually killed it. :/ wuss

I woke up at 5:39 again. What's with that exact time? This is when I flipped the ipod dealy on and checked facebook/mail and blogs. :) yay for checking stuff. That's when I saw Aimers blog and was like, "I should respond to that!". Only I was still tired so I went back to sleep and by the time I thought about it again it was too late. :) lol

I have a bit of a sore throat. It could just be from working in a dusty, musky stink-hole of a basement though. That combined with drywall dust usually = sore throat.

o_o .oO(Thoughts go here)

I'm kind of spinning my wheels here. Still need to find something to occupy some time.

I got into a bad mood today and it threw my whole day off.

The number of friends I have that I actually hang around with is shrinking lately. In fact it just hit zero. So... weee. So now I have to hang around with pretend people. Luckily I have an excellent imagination.

After a time I lose my ability to tolerate stupidity. I think this, coupled with the fact that I have an odd sense of humour, is largely responsible.

I'd also say I'm more than a bit socially inept. >_> I was quite shy growing up and never really went much of anywhere. Mostly I just played around at the various homes I lived in over the years(we moved a lot).

There are only a few people I've ever run into who I can get along with for any extended period of time. Maybe I need a brain transplant or something.

Well, at least it's not Wednesday. For another hour or so anyways.

zooming in

When I get bored now I can simply flip on my ipod dealy and screw around with google earth. It's kind of fun to zoom down to street level.

My patience has been tested quite a bit lately. I think I'm going to step back from the problem for awhile. It's one of those situations that is designed to never have an end.

So I have a blog follower now over on the right there as you can see. A fully certified blog stalker! Woot! I'm moving up in the world.

I can only assume that the people that write the blogs that I usually read have all got trapped in the real world doing real things. I mean, that's the logical conclusion. That or I have frightened them right off the internet.

they asked for it

Sometimes you get pushed too far. This is one of those times.

my doomsday clock is flashing 12:00

So not a lot of people are writing in their blogs lately. I can't blame them. If it wasn't for my utmost dedication to my loyal readers I might stop myself... ok ok, so I have nothing better to do.

Was an alright day today. Bit of a chill in the air but at least the sun was out.

:)


==== rant ====

Now I understand there are some causes in this world that need peoples attention. I know that there are people in the world that don't care much about the consequences of their actions.

Greed isn't anything new.

What bugs me is the extraordinary number of people who insist on finding, for lack of a better word, conspiracies in everything that goes on in the world.

They are so wrapped up in their views. What are they trying to accomplish? There is never a clear answer unless the answer is just plain stupid. They want to stop people from controlling their lives by.... controlling other peoples lives? Huh? Wuh?


WHATEVER.

almost tomorrow

Did a few things today. Went to one of my aunts places to visit with family for a bit. I wasn't sure what the get together was about till I got there. One of my cousins confirmation dealy.

Was something to do. Got to compare playlists on ipods with the same cousin. If you want to feel old comparing playlists with a young person is apparently a great way to do it. o_o

My little nephew Zachary is shy just like I was when I was his age. By the time he gets to the point where he's running around playing with the other kids it's time to go.

Can check my email/blog stuff/facebook from the ipod dealy now. Kind of neat. Found out how irritating the organization of music can be. All different spellings of albums/artists n such.

All you peoples out there, how was your weekend! :)

the movies

It's late. I just got back from watching wolverine. It was an ok movie.

There's just one thing. There's something in the air. I can't put my finger on it. Something has happened and I don't know what it is.

I have this uneasy feeling. I've had this feeling before. Sometimes it's something big, sometimes it something small. I just don't know. :/

It doesn't feel like I'm grounded firmly enough in any sort of reality. I'm going to sleep on this and see what comes of it.

Also, I'm remind of this quote after almost every movie I watch at a theater. This time I did not make up my own movie because I was bored.

=========================================================================
Homer: Wait, I'm confused about the movie. So the cops knew that internal
affairs were setting them up?
Glen: What are you talking about? There is nothing like that in there!
Homer: Oh, you see when I get bored I make up my own movie. I have a very
short attention span.
Jane: But our point is very simple. You see, when--
Homer: Oh, look! A bird! [runs out of the room, laughing, and chases a bird.]
-- "Simpsons - The Joy of Sect"
=========================================================================

Holy Birthday Batman!

:O :O :O

I now have a good mp3 player/expensive toy! Also, a ds lite with the mario game that has the big mushroom! :) got spoiled big time O_O

I only wanted to borrow one of the many ds's people around here have to run down a level using the giant mario. As for the ipod touch. I had no f'n clue. All I know this year is nobody even asked me about my birthday and that was ok with me.

Ok, on to the cake. :) You should have seen my nephew trying to blow his candles out... lets just say most people avoided that cake like the plague. :) He kept trying but all he was doing was blow'n spit. The moms in the crowd were the ones that ate the cake anyhow. I stepped in from behind to help him blow his candles out after a bit. :) I was very discrete. :)

Then came the unwrapping. Having two little nephews I didn't want to let the other one feel left out. So while the birthday nephew was opening his stuff I had the other one on my lap opening my stuff. :) He's so cute, everything he opened he was like "ooooh :O WOW!".

The funniest was a cd, but wait. It was in a bag, wrapped in tissue paper, wrapped in an old shirt. Now first he pulled out a piece of tissue paper and was as all excited and started ripping it up. So they took that away and told him to keep looking. So he got the idea that it wasn't the tissue paper. So he starts pulling it out and tossing it aside. Grabs the piece thats wrapped around the shirt and tosses it aside. Gets to the bottom of the empty bag and has a confused look on his face. :) lmao

So we give him the shirt with the tissue on it he had tossed aside. Immediately, "WOW!" lol :)

Priceless. :) Good kids.

As for the cakes. His was the chocolate one. Most people here like vanilla more so that was my cake. Good times.

Going to go see wolverine with my brother and brother in law. :)

Oh look at me I'm big and orange and I'm the moon, jealous much?

So tonight the moon is big, crisp and orange. It's lighting the clouds up like they're on fire.

Today is one of my nephews birthdays. Tomorrow is mine. We're going to have a cake/party thing tomorrow.

Today he got a little tool belt, Handy Manny style. I linked that for those of you not in the know on who Handy Manny is. I haven't seen him take the tool belt off since I got home today. He's pretty cute. :)

It's in the air. It's hard to write things right now because my mind isn't busy. It's finally relaxing a bit. The weather is nice, the evening is nice. When nothing has me agitated I find it hard to gibber.

So google analytics says there's only like 4 absolute unique visitors to my blog dealy. Two people I know for sure that read it use pretty well armored versions of firefox so googles java script won't even run. So that puts the number at 6ish. Of those most of them are people just clicking off of the other two peoples blogs I comment on.

Of the visitors only two are using Internet explorer, the rest firefox. I highly recommend using firefox if you aren't already. It wipes the floor with IE in most situations.

Then stick in ABP/noscript/flashblock and you got yourself a fairly secure browser and you don't have to see the vast majority of annoying internet ads.

If anyone reading this wants to friend me on facebook (oh yeah, I'm just as annoying there) or chat on msn Just Do It! :p

roflcopter

:) It's a really nice day out. I mean it's crazy nice. I'm down few litres of blood from blackflys but its still really nice.

Before I go though. I haven't felt this good since I moved back to Ontario from Manitoba. o_o yay! wooo! The Manitoba curse is over(long story)!

I even woke up at 5:30 this morning with energy to spare!

Time to get back to work. :)

The moon looked like a question mark

I took a drive to town to do some shopping earlier. On my way back I happened to get a good view of the full moon. It just so happened that the way the clouds were hanging above it made it look like a gigantic question mark.

Maybe even the universe is confused by my gibberish thoughts. Maybe it figured it would display this confusion with a giant question mark. Or maybe I'm totally insane.

So much stuff to write out. I had I think about 5 trains of thought going all at once on the way back. Don't worry one of them was driving. :D lol

Ok, for one. A person who commented on a friend's blog entry about visiting their dieing grandmother (you know who you are). Thinking about losing someone close to me is always going on in the back of my head. It's one of the harder things to deal with when you think too much and care a lot about your family. Hope you're doing ok and I'm sorry about that.

Ummm... This Saturday I get older... 29. The big two nine. Lol :) Ya, so it isn't that monumental of an age. No big milestone, just another age. It is pretty close to 30 though. I remember when I was in grade school always thinking how 30 was really old.

Did anyone else have their car insurance go up and the only reason they give you is, "it hasn't gone up in 4 years". Like that is supposed to somehow make a $230ish increase acceptable. My car isn't worth how much it costs to insure it for a year now. Good ole car-mobile, that's what it's called. 93 pontiac subird le. lol :) It has taken more people to work and back then any car that doesn't belong to that person should.

It feels like I should be dating right now. All this spare time I have used to be filled up with the "other person's stuff". It is nice to have free time though. It's also nice to have someone though.

Lol I just read Amy's blog dealy while writing this and she has a similar thing on hers about relationship stuff. She has a list though, that's something. It's a pretty demanding list if you ask me. I mean, not everyone is tall or knows how to two step. I suppose you can learn how to two step but last I checked the height thing is fixed short of getting kicked in the head and suffering pituitary damage. The rest of the list is ok though.

Seriously though, check the list out it has some pretty funny parts... "NO dresses" lol.

I have at least a dozen other things to get out of my head but my need for sleep is about to win out. :) I started writing this quite some time ago but kept getting sidetracked.

---=== /o.o/ woosh ===---

going shopping

Long day. Just got home about 10 minutes ago. Now I have to go to Owen Sound to buy a bunch of stuff for tomorrow.

Boo driving to town!

staying awake keeps the dreams at bay

Ever have a dream that seemed so real that then next day you have trouble figuring out if something really happened or not?

I tend to have dreams like that more often than not. It can be quite annoying.

Now in my dreams I often find myself looking for something to let me know if I'm dreaming or not. Sometimes there is an obvious giveaway like flying, magic etc.... at other times I'm not so lucky.

I once, some time ago, dreamed that I had woken up and the tv was on in the room next to me. There was a news reporter talking about how the next Harry Potter book was out and people were going wild trying to get their hands on a copy.

It was actually months off the release time. So real though...

Lately I've been having frequent dreams like that. Luckily most of them have something weird to give them away.

If I look them up in a dream analyzer dealy, on the occasions I remember them well enough when I wake up, I find they are supposedly telling me I'm lonely.

well duh...

Of all the blogs that I read I think mine gets the most posts. Sometimes I'm 3-1 on the amount of stuff I write to other peoples. I'm thinking I babble to much. lol

more about Wednesday

You just keep expecting it to get better. It never does though. Poor Wednesday, the crazy cat lady of days of the week.

Time is flying by it seems. I've been doing some drywall boarding lately. It tends to make me tired at the end of the day. All my idle thought processes tend to drift towards what I did during the day. When what I did was drywall my idle thoughts can get pretty boring.

I'm gonna shower up and relax a bit and hopefully get my train of thought on to some more exciting tracks.

(>_>)-----| SPACE |-----(<_<)

The black flies(I'm not totally sure this wiki entry even is about the black flies i'm talking about) are not playing fair this year. What's with the being out in the blazing sun?

For about 2 years I didn't really notice them that much. The vast majority of the time I was outside I was decked out in a bee veil. Now that I don't do bee stuff anymore I'm going to have to find an alternative.

You know I'd rather occasionally be stung by bees then have to deal with skeeters and black flies.

the thing about wednesday

The middle of the week. It doesn't really have anything going for it. I prefer a Thursday or Friday myself and I'll even make an exception for Saturday sometimes.

I woke up early today. This hasn't happened in awhile. I think it had something to do with being exhausted last night and falling asleep for a few hours in the afternoon. >.>

Something feels different this morning. Like my skin is fitting on me better than usual. :) Odd.

so tired

Shortly after I wrote the last entry I had a shower. Shortly after the shower it hit me, so tired. I went to lay down for a minute and then it was now.

I woke up mostly because everyone was downstairs watching American Idol with the tv cranked up. It wasn't the tv that woke me up though. It was the three kids screaming over top of the tv noise.

Now I need to go find some food. Feeling kinda down. Probably a combination of thinking too much and lack of food power for my brain.

Cinco de Mayo

Today is a nice day. I'm tired but alive. A person who I used to be acquainted with made a big deal out of cinco de mayo. It just kind of stuck with me. I don't make a big deal but I always remember it and in turn I remember them.

I removed a friend on facebook today. First time I've done it. I think I might remove one more. The first person is someone who I care about a lot. She's a good person and we had some good times but she is a totally different person on facebook. I only ever hear from her on facebook now and I'd rather just not.

The second person is just mean to me all the time, mostly in a condescending way. She is used to getting her way. I don't go for that sort of thing so we've never really got along.

I seem to have a tendency to rub some people the wrong way. :/

Dom Deluise died today. I remember him in movies from way back and from many tv series. R.I.P.

must do... something o_o

I have reached my sitting around doing nothing limit for a time. Must find something to occupy my attention in the afternoons.

As for right now. I'm going to get some sleep. After an oddball day, I'm more than a bit tired.

Random thought before bed

If you wear boots a lot get an electric boot dryer. Dry your boots at night, it extends the life by quite a bit. Trust me on this!

Only boots I own are work boots. I wear them till they are falling apart usually. Cause that's usually when they're most comfortable. Drying them out keeps any sort of things that decide to grow in them from doing so.

I actually own two identical pairs of work boots right now. One for work and the others(new) I wear for everything else. They are just that comfortable. Those tarantula grip ones they sell at marks work warehouse. Size 11 because 10-10.5 pinches one my one foot too much and the boots wear out way faster.

Only shoes I own currently are a pair of fancy rockport walking shoes that are really worn out tread-wise(also they are missing).

Oh and a pair of fancy dress shoes. I actually went out and got a suit not that long ago for my cousin bobs wedding. Got suit/shoes the whole shebang from Kornblums in owen sound.... around 7:30 the night before lol. No more wearing my dads old suits. ya.... i know i'm a dork

hello world!

If someone writes a blog on the internet but there's nobody there to read it.... does it make any sense to write it?

:) Anyone actually reading this stuff. Am I boring, insane or interesting. Leave a comment.

If you want someone to comment on your posts constantly and read them then let me know. Ask Amy... she's probably all like ... "geez, dave again, I sure do enjoy is never ending commentary"... that's just a testament to how good I am. :) lol

I have lots of time on my hands being single and trying to save money and so on.

I told a bunch of people about this and two of them bug me to right stuff cause they are bored. Yet they never comment >:O

Anyways.... time to post!

:D

chicken soup in the twilight zone!

Had some awesome chicken noodle soup my mom made tonight. :D wooo!

Today was a really, really weird. I had no idea what time it was most of the day and when I expected something to happen it was off by some random amount.

Went to bed late. Woke up early for no reason, not tired.
Dropped a vehicle off in Owen Sound to get some work done on it.
Waited while a job was priced.
Went to another job and started working.
Had lunch.

I went out to get a drink at what I figured was probably 2:30-3:00 and bam... it was after 5:00.

Ok, so maybe it wasn't that weird of a day.

25 random things... not

EDIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS THE BEST VIDEO OF THE DAY!!!!

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1910048

This video is awesome. I spend a lot of time on collegehumor cause I'm a dork that way.

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1909744

Also, BEHOLD THE NACHO!

http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=05042009

never trust a minty brained man

Some time this week I will be debt free. Well monetarily speaking anyhow.

I am going to pay off the remainder of my student loan which now sits in the form of a line of credit.

There are three very over sugared children running around the house right now. This tends to happen on birthdays. Today we had a little cake type party for my sisters boyfriend. They've been together for about four years now I think. The kids ate the candies used to decorate the cake as it was being made, got ahold of some of the icing as it was being put on and then finally got a bunch more at cake time.

The plan was to take them out to the new swing set thing outside after so they could tire themselves out. The blackflys had other ideas. So now the kids are all bouncing around the living room while their parents try to get them to watch a Winnie the Pooh movie.

I got a Ninja Turtles birthday card and a box of pocky plus some cash for him. Yep.... little kids ninja turtle card. Picked it up at Zehrs while I was riding my cart around killing time.

It's kind of funny. To me anyhow. He's a bit of a cartoon nerd/hippy so it works out. Even if everyone else just thinks I'm nuts. I wrote Cowabunga Dude! on the inside. lol

the dashboard melted but we still have the radio

Now here we go! ==========> Modest Mouse - Dashboard

Oh, it should've been, could've been worse than you would ever know.
Well, you told me about nowhere, well it sounds like someplace I'd like to go.

Oh, it could've been, should've been worse than you would ever know.
Well, the windshield was broken but I love the fresh air you know.
(The dashboard melted but we still have the radio)


I love this song and the video is awesome. :) It's pretty late right now but I'm awake for some reason. Song is kinda about thinking positive now matter how messed up things get. The video doesn't really go along with that though.

wolverine!

I want to go see this movie. I don't like going to movies alone though. Never have, it's just a thing.

Couldn't find anyone to go today. Maybe tomorrow. :/

what nerds do!

I am a science nerd at heart. I particularly like chemistry. I've always had great luck with it.

"Added after: Cut to the end if you want the point of this"

During high school there was a year period where my whole family up and moved to Manitoba. I didn't do well there. I just did not fit in.

I can use the square peg in a round hole analogy here. In Ontario if you had a round peg you would put it in the round hole, square peg square hole. In Manitoba they had no concept of this. If the peg didn't fit they would just mash it up and poor the remains of the ill fitting peg into whatever hole they wanted.

I did well enough in physics/chemistry/biology before we left the province. Once we got to Manitoba I found out that I was literally almost a grade ahead in all three subjects. The courses were so easy, for me anyhow. I would get really bored and fall asleep most classes. Wake up for tests and ace them. This didn't make me a lot of friends. lol :)

There was new stuff learned near the end of the year in each class and it was interesting but most of the rest of the people in the class were a bit slow on the uptake.

There were a few very smart people at the school as well so it wasn't all bad.

Once we got back to Ontario it was another story. Almost every class I signed up for here was ahead of where I would have been in Manitoba by a text book or two. Essentially I lacked an entire year of learning for most of the classes. OAC classes were mostly out of the question :/ I tried physics, chemistry and biology.

It was just not doable. Every assignment required me to read chapter upon chapter of information from the previous grade text book in order to understand it. This was on top of the new things I needed to learn from that grades text. I had similar problems with math and english as well. English though is a whole other story.

The only excpetion was chemistry. We came back about a week late. This caused me to miss the review from the previous year. This covered how to setup and conduct experiments in a way I was unfamiliar with. I fudged my way through it. Then it came time for final exams. Two weeks before the final exam I was sick with something. I managed to miss the review of how to properly setup/conduct the experiments once again along with new information on it.

So I get back, it's time for the exam..... the vast majority of the exam(3/4 or so) is setting up a rough layout for an experiment on paper. It said to use a matrix, lay out measurements, calculations, control experiments. I'm thinking, I'm totally screwed. I have no clue what it means by matrix. But it all just clicks, its common sense, it just flows out of my brain. Somehow I do amazing on the exam. yay me!

As for physics, the teacher tried to help me catch up. In the end we both agreed that it was pretty much a lost cause being so far behind. Biology was a similar situation. It didn't matter how much effort I put into the assignments and tests the best I could managed was 7oish percent. This was unnacceptable to me and the cause of much stress.

So from a straight A student in Ontario to an A+ in Manitoba to screwed-over back in Ontario. I dropped physics/biology. Took up yearbook/comm tech. (both classes had same teacher and it was about 3 weeks into the year, another interesting story). I stuck it out through english but ended up failing. I learned a lot about the Canterbury Tales though. I just could not write the tests or assignments to the teachers liking. To this day I have no clue what she wanted. She was a terrible terrible teacher.

Took general English, aced it. Comm tech, I won an award and aced it. Totally rocked year book class. It was kind of refreshing to not take stressful classes but it really didn't help me with my education goals.

Anyways, do I ever get of topic eh?

THE POINT!!!!!!

I like chemistry, found some chemistry videos with this neat puffy haired chemistry professor. This led me to the following site, which I find fascinating and hilarious. :) I have been watching them for the last few days when I get bored.

www.periodicvideos.com

nice out? ya... nice like a fox!

Okay, so the title makes little sense I'll give you that.

It's a somewhat beautiful out. If it wasn't for the wind and clouds it would be a picture perfect day. There is, however, just enough of a chill in the breeze, now and then, to require a sweater or coat of some sort.

Plus if you set anything down it blows away really fast.

I was planning on BBQ'n something today but we lack a sheltered spot to fire up the grill. I'm not sure what to have instead. Once you got BBQ planned in your head everything else seems like kraft dinner.

I don't eat kraft dinner... only once did I ever even eat macaroni and cheese and that was on a flight from toronto to LAX. I somehow missed the part where you say you don't want cheese in your meal thingy. The two options were mac&cheese + some kind of meat or some weird seafood dish. Now I'll eat seafood now and then but I didn't want to tempt fate by eating airline seafood on a 3hr flight(I think thats how long it was). So mac & cheese it was.

Now I use the term mac & cheese losely. The dish looked like someone had taken a childs macaroni art picture, let it dry up really well and stuck it to a paper plate. There really was no decernable taste to the "noodles" or the "cheese-like" coating. Not so much a coating as a hard/dry coloring. I was unsure of what the "meat" was and I can't remember the taste. I think it may be my brains way of protecting me from the horrible memory of it.

I wouldn't have eaten it except I was starving by the time they served it. It was my first time flying and as such I was incredibly nervous. So nervous in fact I hadn't eaten anything in about a day and a half.

I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, well more like an old man with a funny smell and big glasses and a lady who went to sleep at the start of the flight and only woke up once to eat.

The worst part was this horrible food, which I was counting on to help calm my stomach, was served in a portion more suitable for something the size of a chihuahua... I'm not sure a chihuahua would have eaten it though.

It should be stated that my substitute for a meal when the rest of the family was having mac & cheese growing up.... was, wait for it...... plain macaroni + tuna on a plate and some ketchup all mixed together.

Hey, I never claimed to be refined. Beacuse of the dairy thing I never developed a taste for cheese + pasta by itself. Now that I'm older I find I'll sometimes put "extra old" cheddar on spaghetti + meat sauce. There are very few things I like cheese on, pizza, spaghetti and chicken parm/stuffed shell type dishes. I have a way higher tolerance for mozzerella than cheddar it seems as well.

Anyhoo, maybe I'll suggest my sister make her vegetarian chilli. I myself don't like it or the smell of it cooking. The smell of cooking peppers gives me indigestion for some reason. However, everyone else in the house loves the stuff.

pizza & wings

As usually happens on Friday someone in the house decided they wanted to get some take out for supper.

Tonight it was Pizza & Wings from the place in Flesherton that used to be Neils diner.
It was a nice place to eat, named for the NHL hockey player Chris Neil who plays for the Ottawa Senators. His mom ran the place. It had been a few other not so good restaurants up to the time she took over. Then it became a really nice place to go. She died in a car accident just up the road from berkeley though :/ Now it is a pizza place, godfathers pizza I think.

Anyhoo.... So I ate a few wings and one piece of pizza. I have a problem with dairy and always have. Makes my insides really hot and such and it hurts really bad. Lactose intolerance type thing I guess only the lacteeze type pills and lactose free milk don't help. The only thing that does is eating small amounts of dairy over time to build up a bit of a tolerance.

I really like pizza so sometimes I just eat it anyway and just deal with it. If you ever have a child who's suffering from the lactose intolerance thing, all rolling around in agony. They will have diarrhea from this and be sitting on the toilet just feeling like 10 kinds of crappy. Get two wash clothes or so and run cold water on them and roll them up in a tube and put one of them along their waste line. Once it warms up, replace it with the other one. Cool off the first one and repeat. It doesn't make the pain go away but it helps a lot.

My mom used to make pizza for special occasions and I would eat a buttload of it. I discovered the wash cloth thing out of necessity.

I used to have an Ice Capp from Tim Hortons now and then to help build up a resistance. But they make me get fat way too fast.

Anyhoo i'm off! /o.o/ <-- see thats a little guy wooshing away like superman

waiting to see

What's with the weather huh?

It's Friday! I think I'm starting to feel better, it's hard to tell this early in the morning. I'm waiting to see how I feel once I've been up for awhile. Hopefully I can get some work done today.

Also, it's May now! May is clearly the best month of the year ever!

I fell asleep on the couch yesterday while I was feeling crummy and when I woke up there were all kinds of animal toys around my head.... when you have little nephews this is not a huge surprise.

What made it even funnier was Damien(brothers son), was laying beside me drinking a bottle. I'm not sure how I slept through him sneaking up on me, he's not as small as he used to be and far from stealthy. When he saw I woke up he said something along the lines of "I got you some toys." It's a bit hard to tell because he's only just getting good at talking.

This I think makes up for the fact that I got this stomach thing from him. :) He's too cute sometimes.

aaaaaahhhh

I am having a really hard time thinking of one thing to write about. I've been at home all day. Did not go to work today because of this stomach thing. Too many things in my head all at once.

I'm getting older for one, just a few more days till I'm 29... o_o
I'm single, I'm getting pretty tired of that.

For some reason I'm still feeling pretty positive. I'm really tired now so off to sleep. I'll try and write something tomorrow when, hopefully, I'm over this thing and not half asleep.

of leeks and men

It's the time of year again. Wild leek season. Well it's close enough anyways.

Ever since I was 10ish my family has gone out and picked leeks when they first start popping out of the ground.

I didn't like to eat them but I always liked walking around outside in the bush and doing things. Usually it would be me and my dad and one or two other siblings.

I still don't like them that much, except in soup, but I still go out and pick them. It brings back memories and momentarily distracts me from the multitude of thoughts flying through my head.

This stomach virus thing is brutal. No wonder the kids were in such bad moods. It's like there's a party in my intestines and the police got called to break it up and a gun fight broke out. Now there's a hostage situation and it is not going to end well.

I made it through the morning okay. Finished the first job I went to and then it hit me like a tonne of bricks.

Ah well, if I'm lucky it should be over sometime tomorrow.... if only I were lucky.

feeling great! kinda, maybe, sorta.....

Several people in the last two days have asked me how I'm feeling... each time I say, "Great!"

This is despite the fact that I recently acquired the stomach virus my two little nephews just got over. My innards feel nothing along the lines of great. Yet I stick by the feeling Great thing.

Physically I may currently have a malady but my brain is in gear and I'm feeling all right. :) Better than I have in a long time.

Kind of goes along with the title of this blog and was part of the point I was trying to make yesterday but never managed to.

.... .. / .- -- -.--

Well here it goes! Just remember, be careful what you wish for!

I apologize in advance for the randomness that will undoubtedly infect this first post. I tend to think about way too many things at once. Being of the introvert type personality I tend to think a lot in my head and when I start writing it out well.... it can be hard to stop.

That being said, I used to write online a lot and about all manner of things. Much of what's left of this online gibbering is something to behold...
At least that's how I see it, in my head o.o

So yesterday as I was driving to one of the jobs I've been working on lately and a song came on the radio. This song has been stuck in my head and keeping me in a good spirits ever since.
It was played to commemorate Samuel Morse's birthday simply because of the morse code at the start. I really like this song and the band and so I decided to use it as the basis for my blog dealy.

Now that I have that out of the way let me just say I don't think more than one person is going to read this and even then not more than once, probably out of pity. lol

However, after reading some of my old posts on www.everything2.com, FROM 8.9 YEARS AGO!, wow that feels like a really long time. I think it might be neat to look back on this when I'm older. It might help me to get some perspective and possibly jog my somewhat schizophrenic memory.

Lately I've been thinking I should get more active in my life and try and once again climb out of this self created mental prison I put myself in. If I can remain positive and build something out of this mess then I think at the end of the day I won't just have to say it's all right, it will actually be all right. :) I tend to think of this sort of thing a lot but for once it stuck and I'm gonna run with it.

Music has always helped me keep a positive attitude when I would otherwise just lay down and try and block the world out. Luckily I enjoy an extremely vast array of musics. Country, punk, rock, classical, jazz etc... I don't really discriminate against any genre but I do dislike some individual songs.

I recall the first cassette player I ever owned, I got it for a birthday sometime in the late 80's. I got two tapes with it; CCR - the best of and one that had nursery rhymes on it. I was kind of stuck between pre-teen and teenager. In the end I ditched the nursery rhymes tape and when most kids my age were listening to pop music I was a CCR and country music fan.

Anyhoo, where was I?

Oh right! Morse code, lol. :) I made the title of this post in morse code. It's a shout out to the person who got me to start a blog in the first place.

This person I've known, kind of, for the vast majority of my life. For many reasons they have a permanent place in my memory. It's like that one person that you always wanted to get to know and such but you just didn't have the nerve to do it cause you were just a dorky kid. Then you become a dorky adult and you run into them at a grocery store one day and you still aren't able to form a complete sentence in their presence. Ah how special being a dork is.

It's a hard thing to break out of a shell sometimes and other times it seems like the simplest thing.

On that not I'm gonna cut this post short now because I could probably go on forever and I'm not sure that is the point of these things. I need some kind of a topic to confine my textual flow.