the impression that i get.....

I've always sort of been aware of my ability to create bad first impressions. Any sort of impression for that matter. It's a skill honed over many a year of being just plain terrible at social situations.

Most of my long time friends/acquaintances are aware of this ability and have either accepted it or written me off as a lost cause.

I even manage to surprise myself sometimes though. Oh boy! Curse you bottle caps and black light!!! lol Couple that with references to things nobody else has ever heard of and ..... magic! I truly am out of touch with most people.

So yeah, I haven't made a post in some time... I went through quite a bit of a change thought wise recently. Went to rock bottom and then back up. Paid off my debt from college and I am working on saving money to get a place and get on with my life (whatever that means).

I'm usually not much of a decision maker. My natural type of personality is to let someone else take the lead to avoid stress. Put me in a situation where nobody else will take the lead or things are uncertain and I tend to jump in and takeover.

I think this is an oldest child response to situations. The catch is, I got a dose of it again last night and I kind of realized I like it. I'm going to skip the waiting for people to take charge part and just do it myself for awhile. I don't really have any "real" stress right now and any that I create or imagine can be handled. I think I've grown up a little. I guess it makes sense I am almost 30 . :O aaaah!

Normally after a night like last night I'd be depressed and ready to crawl into a hole, this time, I just gotta laugh. All the stress of the situation kinda just blew up in my face and I cracked up all the way home. I mean murphy's law was in full effect. I'm pretty sure there are two, maybe three more people in the world now that think I'm mental. lol :)

I then spent the majority of the night and into the early morning chatting with people and watching videos on youtube or playing bejewelled blitz. Went to sleep around 4:30am and slept till about 3 in the afternoon.

Hanging out with some normal people was a bit of a wake up call. Man am I a dork! Not that there's anything wrong with that all of you dorks out there reading this. :) lol I just plain have very little to relate to normal people with. Sort of a catch 22 I guess.

Yeah! Go me. I'm probably going to write more for awhile. Keep my thoughts out there so I can look back on them later. Plus with all the people reading this I'll likely get some good/bad feedback to help me keep going.

/o.o/ woosh!